From - Fri Sep 7 17:37:10 2001 Message-ID: <3B98331C.4F715F86@clark.net> Date: Thu, 06 Sep 2001 22:38:20 -0400 From: Tiny Human Ferret Reply-To: klaatu@clark.net Organization: copyright 2001 all rights reserved -- non-UseNet transmission prohibited. X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.5 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.2.17 i586) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.politics.immigration Subject: Re: US special relationship switched from the United Kingdom to Mexico References: <9n9362$sq5$1@slb6.atl.mindspring.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit NNTP-Posting-Host: 65.205.1.227 X-Trace: vienna7.his.com 999830305 65.205.1.227 (6 Sep 2001 22:38:25 -0400) Lines: 130 X-Authenticated-User: tjh22isp Path: vienna7.his.com Xref: vienna7.his.com alt.politics.immigration:176486 "Steve from Colorado (STVFRMCO)" wrote: > > "D. Long" wrote in message > news:9n9362$sq5$1@slb6.atl.mindspring.net... > > x-no-archive: yes > > "trankscuzzball" wrote in message > > news:Xns9114A4E2248DCtrankscuzzballyahooc@198.99.146.10... > > > Look what Jorge W. Busholaz has done. How do republicans support such > > > insanity with this guy? > > > > > "This is a recognition that the United States has no more important > > > relationship in the world than the one we have with Mexico." > > > > How is it that the most capable and accomplished nation in the world > > turns > > away from another capable and accomplished nation and embraces as our best > > friend Mexico, a nation of ignorance and corruption whose heritage > > is identified primarily with sleaze? > > > > > > > > Maybe the President uses the word "special" in a different way than previous > presidents. Words change in meaning over time -- like the way "gay" changed > from meaning "happy" to connote homosexuality. We have Special Education > and the Special Olympics. Mexico enjoys a "special" relationship with the > U.S., kind of like a special person in the family who attends a special > school. Critics of Bush have said he has trouble with certain words. We > should try to understand where he is coming from. Mexico is without a doubt > "special" in the modern sense of the word and deserves a special place in > the world community. As a mopey gloomy guy dressed in black, I was forced to post the following to news:alt.gothic : Subject: Canadians Riot and Throw Poutine at Embassy over Bush Gaffe! Date: Thu, 06 Sep 2001 21:14:29 -0400 From: Tiny Human Ferret copyright 2001 all rights reserved -- non-UseNet transmission prohibited. Newsgroups: alt.gothic --- Canadians, outraged over US President George W. Bush Jr.'s declaration that "This is a recognition that the United States has no more important relationship in the world than the one we have with Mexico", proclaimed their solidarity with their country's political leadership -- who were reportedly so despondent over the remark that they promptly commited suicide to as to more speedily commence to spinning in their graves -- by getting sodden drunk, gathering at the US Embassy, screeching "aBOOT aBOOT aBOOT you fucking Merkins!", and hurling containers of Poutine (gravy-soaked deepfried potato slices) at embassy personnel and anyone else just standing around. Further incited by reports which we can neither confirm nor deny, that President Bush responded to the question from a Canadian reporter -- "Um, don't you mean Canada instead of Mexico, Mister President?" -- "Canada? Are you nuts? What has Canada ever done for us? Besides, only sissies study French in school, real men all study Spanish" -- rioting Canadians demanded a formal apology. The terms of the apology were not specified, although some of the rioters -- interviewed between epic guzzling and cellphone calls to nearby restaurants that delivered ammo resupply -- suggested that the minimal acceptable form would include a legal change of name to "Dan Quayle". Others went so far as to demand that President Bush resign and be replaced by Vice-President Dick Cheney "who at least can tell the difference between a festering hovel and a stately mansion when asked which neighbor needs subsidized housing". US Embassy personnel were not available for comments other than those loudly directed at the Canadians, generally to the effect of "see what you get for not being troublemakers?" Meanwhile, at the Mexican Embassy, high powered amplifiers blared "narcocorridas" and accordion music at intense volume while Mexican Army embassy guards smoked crack and heroin in celebration between firing weapons into the air, drinking copious amounts of tequila and vomiting in the street while insulting passersby. We have unconfirmed reports that Canadian, American, and Mexican embassies are at states of high alert, and that Mexican tanks are crossing the border with Texas, driving a fast-moving wedge towards the San Antonio Texas military parts depot which is reportedly the scene of either one hell of a party or an insurgency action, depending who you talk to. Reportedly Daimler/Chrysler Corporation will be closing all Canadian plants in the morning, with the reason to be given that "we just don't need minivans anymore, everyone wants our Mexican-manufactured 'PT Cruisers' and everyone who doesn't is buying the New Beetles" -- which are also manufactured in Mexico. Other major transnational corporate headquarters reported that they are also considering shutting down their Canadian operations because "these damn Canadians demand fair pay and their idea of fair pay is about ten times what the Mexicans want, and it's a huge pain in the ass complying with their workplace safety regulations. Plus the bastards ticketed me for littering, last week." Elsewhere, others mostly continued to Blame Canada and laud Mexico. However, Germany, France, and England offered moral support to Canadians everywhere and made offers to buy the entirety of Canadian heavy industry for ten Canadian cents on the American dollar. No Australians were available for comment due to the telecommunications blackout imposed to cover their mobilization of their entire military to repel 447 Afghan refugees. Africa erupted into slightly more genocide than usual. In Spain, HRH Juan Carlos is reported to have not stopped giggling since he heard the news. Generalissimo Francisco Franco was still dead, and not available for interview. The Pope is reported to have sputtered incoherently to the effect of "I told you that continuing prohibitions against birth control would increase our profits I mean tithes". Japan committed seppuku, and the Chinese promptly invaded and offered their harvested organs on the InterNet, for transplant in unlicensed Mexican clinics. North Korea announced that their missile research program was responsible for the highly-visible re-entry of a 1975 Soviet satellite launch vehicle which burned up over the US' eastern seaboard, and further announced that their citizens were overjoyed by the announcement that there would be an additional gram of rice per person per day distributed by the government, and that Vancouver would be theirs now that the US/Mexican alliance had stripped Canada of US military protection. India and Pakistan were too busy hating each other to comment. South American nations were generally reported to be in roughly the same state as HRH Juan Carlos of Spain. Americans interviewed either had no comment, rolled their eyes as if imploring the gods to end it all, or said "whatchu talkin' about, Willis", or alleged that notwithstanding the words of their President, _they_ still liked Canadians enough to attend an event billed as "Convergence 8, the original funeral for Canadian equality in NAFTA". One even declared, "at least I know for a fact that they'll be moping for real now, not just putting on pretentious airs trying to convince us that they're more Goth than we are." -- Whom thou'st vex'd waxeth wroth: Meow. <-----> http://earthops.net/klaatu/