Be forewarned. Some of this might be considered fictional, or personal
opinion. Maybe it's some as-yet-inchoate creativity that hasn't yet found a
vehicle, some creepiness of the soul of a horror-SF writer. It's probably
going to wind up as background for some sort of role-playing game. If your
psychiatrist tells you that you've got problems with onierotaxia, read no
further... This fictional/horrific/RPG sort of
thing is indicated in boldface. At any rate, you should hope the
stuff referenced in boldface is fictional. If it's not, we're all
Don't worry, it's all fiction. Right? We all know that there is no
possibility that a long-term slow-invasion of this country could occur,
right? We all know that we have total control of our borders and that there
are no illegal aliens and besides if there were illegal aliens, there's no
chance that they'd be well-educated and very skilled spies, right?
No possibility at all. None.
Don't worry, it's all fiction. Right? We all know that there is no possibility that a long-term slow-invasion of this country could occur, right? We all know that we have total control of our borders and that there are no illegal aliens and besides if there were illegal aliens, there's no chance that they'd be well-educated and very skilled spies, right?
No possibility at all. None.
Some of them might be insurgents, setting things up for next-year's war. You mean you hadn't heard about The War? Scheduled to open in May, 1997. Stay tuned (to CB and shortwave). Brought to you by the Third-World Order. Surely you've heard of the Third-World Order?
I hate what it's become. The monuments are all still there, and they're even being spruced up here and there... but like a surgeon plastering a fresh new face on a savage and diseased ancient hag of a whore, it doesn't matter how it looks, it's what's inside that counts.
I am not alone. Take a look at what I've been seeing for years, the DC DarkSide, a subset of Doug Thompson's eminent site. There's even more scary stuff available form the CyberHerald, largely dealing with social reform and public welfare issues, particularly homelessness issues.
This just in, the District of Columbia Financial Responsibility and Management Assistance Authority, better known as the Control Board, has mounted their Strategic Plan of December 12, 1996 to the Web. They also just gave greatly-expanded responsibility to DC Police chief Larry Soulsby.
If you want fluffy, happy pages touting the grandeur of Washington, you can find them here. A Zoomable Map is here. Be warned, it's a big map and takes awhile to load.
If you want to fall face-first into the public-relations machine, which will get you drawn headfirst into the tourism industry, which will in turn lead you directly to the headcrushing machine, why not try the Wash Web pages. Or you can even try the Official Washington DC Homepage.
If you want a good generic page with lots of things to do and places to go in the Greater Washington Metropolitan Area (Metro Sprawl), try the Washington Fun and Recreation Page.
Remember, when visiting Washington, you stray outside the confines of the tourgroup at risk of life, limb, and sanity. You'd be safer across the river at the Pentagon at rush hour during an incipient nuclear attack. Who knows? You might survive either experience... but would you want to go on living?
You could see what the Brookings Institute, America's oldest and best-respected thinktank thinks about Washington. They're Cautiously Optomistic. I'm just cautious. For now, you also should be very cautious when visiting. There are things going on around town that seem to be indicative of either a hushed-up invasion attempt or incipient mass-psychosis. At any rate, don't forget to take a look at places you should not shop. You could visit the Library of Congress, or go right down the street to visit the lovely White House at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But be very careful if you go across the street to Lafayette Park. Not only does the occasional shooter lurk there for a while before opening up on the Executive Mansion, but you will be accosted by various beggars, and there are most definitely a lot of very sketchy foreign-intelligence types who hang out there, looking for anyone who has a brain in their head. If they can't make you agree with them, very annoying things will happen to you... but this being a free country, they're allowed to do this.
You could try hanging out where I hang out. I like to go to Dupont Circle. Well, actually, I haven't hung out there except for once since I wrote that line above, months ago.
You could even trace the mysterious and famed Grand Pattern of Washington, reputedly a mere Shadow of another greater Pattern. What is this mysterious pattern alluded to by Louis Farrahkhan and by a great many other students of the mysterious and the arcane? Nothing less than the mysterious and mystical Great Inverted Pentagram of Washington. Now you know why this sleepy little town has so many churches scattered throughout it, and you know which parts of town to avoid for Hallowe'en.
An excellent place to go, if you really want to see the most clashing juxtapositions of money, power, poverty, filth, mendicancy and assorted panderings and capitalism, is Adams-Morgan. This page was put together by another person who's a little sick of the District's plight. Rex's outlook on the District is a little different from mine, but we both share a certain disdain for some of the antics and oddities of the place.
Wondering about the local suburbs? Take a look at the City of Rockville, Maryland propaganda page.
And stay tuned. Pretty soon I'll begin posting some prime diatribe from one of the area's social gadflies. My objective? Directly from the Scripture, I take my clue from Nahum 3:6-7.
If you're still paying your taxes after you come see the real Washington, DC, one must question your judgement, if not your morality.
Try reading a little poem, the first stanza of which, in my opinion, rather perfectly describes Washington and its present relationship to the rest of the country; describes the situation perfectly.