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Earth Operations Central

Originally from roughly September 1996 - some revisions as of September 1998. You may feel free to believe, disbelieve, or reinterpret your experiences to conform to your own preferred paradigm.

What exactly are they?

Whether you realize it or not... You've seen them around.

As a rule they're not very remarkable. They try not to be, nothing blatant anyway. It's extremely easy to overlook them, as they do not much differ from mainstream man. But they are, after all, not exactly regular people. They have smallish pointed ears that sit high upon their smallish boxy heads. They're generally slender and fairly graceful. In the absence of knowing what else to call them, I'll call them elves. They can be of any skincolor, or of any apparent ethnic extraction.

They can, however, be easily distinguished from regular people, by their behavior. Baldly stated, they're all completely nuts. They're functional, mostly; they can and do hold jobs. It's part of their "disguise", their own Masquerade, if you will. They tend mostly to be very "mainstreamed", and psychotically so - any deviation from what they believe to be the "norm" is attacked with diabolical subtlety and manic abandon. They look around them and decide what they think is "normal", and they act that way. The main problem is, after all, that they are not mainstream Man, and do not at all think like mainstream men. They can and do imitate behavior, insofar as they're able to grasp it, but they do not seem to have any conception of the underlying rationale. They do very weird things which appear to most people to be typical schizophrenic behavior, such as making rapid gesticulations, and arcane signs. They are very fast indeed; with reaction times which would be appropriate for something evolved under a gravity (and consequently faster falling-acceleration speeds) substantially higher than that of Earth.

They often talk almost as if they were possessed of Tourette's Syndrome, and indeed, much about them could easily be mistaken for the symptoms of Tourette's; but this is not exactly pathological - it's just how and what they are. They make rapid tic-like gestures, and they will, in the middle of a conversation, shout out something that's totally unrelated to the conversation at hand, rather like Mr. Subliminal on Saturday Night Live - but when they shout out something like this, it is all too often a trigger for violent psychotic behavior among any other of their kind who may be in the vicinity.

They wear baseball caps where that is the dominant social clique. They Talk football and nothing but football in football season, and they can discuss statistics and strategy with the best of them. They are indeed "real sports" in the oldest sense of the word. Whatever mainstream people do, whatever mainstream people look like, that's what they do, that's how they appear -

Except when it comes to Goths, especially except when it comes to the Night Crew, in which case they're often vicious to a degree which suggests and indwelling species imperative of genocidal xenophobia.

They often act in many respects as if they just fell off of an interstellar cruiser where they learned everything about humanity from watching television. They are definitely Fashion-Victims. If Adidas (tm) are in, they're wearing Adidas. If advertising suggests that you have to drive a metallic-leafgreen MiniVan, by god they're all driving metallic-leafgreen MiniVans.

They're the perfect consumer. They watch television scrupulously, and apparently read and believe the National Enquirer. They seem to have absolutely no sense of discretion about what is fiction and what is rumor, what is a story and what is reality. they seem to believe that anything that's told to them by one of their own is gospel truth and cannot evidently contemplate the idea that whever is informing them might themselves be possessed of bad information, or that they might have been deliberately spoofed with disinformation.

And they believe in Dracula.

They really truly believe in Dracula. As near as I can tell (when I say that they don't share mainstream psychological processes, I mean it; this makes them impossible to figure out so far as "what were they thinking?" questions go) - they give absolute credence to the notion that there is a plague of vampires sweeping the nation. They literally think that every person not one of their immediate clique should be assumed to be "dracula". They use to word as if dracula was not the classic fictional Count we all have come to know through various remakes of the classic Stoker novel. They seem to use the word "dracula" as if "dracula" was no proper noun but rather an adjectival descriptor. They can and do point at people and say to each other, "dracula". And they believe each other, as if each were incapable of speaking a falsehood. They're obsessed with dracula. Obsessed, and when it comes to their interactions with people they label dracula (which might be not an expression of kind, but rather of status, possibly social or some other undefined type), they behave most despicably.

They form enclaves. They will, due to their weirdness and generally spooky eccentricities (plus their propensity for undue violence is becoming well-known in the Washington DC Greater Metro Area) tend to drive away regular customers and displace original staff. This may or may not be strategic and intentional. A mainstream man (or god forbid a Goth!) walking into one of these enclaves may be in for an incredibly rude awakening.

If you're a Goth, you don't want to see them. You are their target. But how can you tell if they're "elves" or mainstream people? Besides the physical signs, of course... Pick a place that you believe to be an "elven" enclave, and walk in and have someone else walk in a few minutes later. Then as your compadre deals with one of the "elves", say in a conversational voice, "dracula", or better yet, raise your voice and say "bloodsuck!" If they go nuts, you'll know. Watch for the following behavior: one will move to the rear of the person they think is "dracula" and others will move in as well. They will start doing their weird gestuculations and may start to do the Mr. Subliminal thing. Believe me, one or more of you may not make it out of the store alive! Be sure to film this, you can sell the copies for amusement value.

Hey, I know it sounds crazy but these guys are crazy or alien, I have simply reported it as I've experienced it or seen it or heard it. Don't expect me to make much sense out of it. The more I try to understand this the crazier I get.

Another technique is to send a blatant and obvious Goth into the store. They might not even make it in the door, although the "elves" prefer to not ever use direct confrontation. They apparently prefer to attack from behind, ideally having the target "fronted up" by one, who will be very smilingly friendly, while another gets in place for some prime backstabbing. Note, these "elves" are not at all unintelligent; they're just incredibly and weirdly different. They tend to use mainstream laws and procedures to their advantage and particularly to the disadvantage of their selected "dracula". They tend towards provocation. If the harassment takes place in a public place such as a store, under the watchful glare of a video camera, the provocation usually takes the form of a poke with a pin or a stiff piece of wire, too samall to be resolved by the video. If a mainstream person responds to the provocation, it will appear on camera is if they assaulted the "elf" for no reason at all. They are very practiced at this. Much of their behavior in this stalking and harassment seems to be based on very well-thought-out flowcharting, and if you do not respond to one provocation, they evidently place you somewhere in a logic-tree branchdomain where you can be considered as being almost certainly disarmed, Or a person who was expecting this, in which case the Jump to another procedure-set. If you consider them as foreign-intelligence or inimical alien-presence, you have your head and approach in close to the right place. However, it seems apparent that they have a flowchart branchpoint for this eventuality as well. If you seem to fall under this category, they no longer call you "dracula", but now call you "vampire-I"; probably meaning that you are not only "dracula", but should be considered to have intelligence or police training. In any case you are their enemy, and they wiull make sure that every single one of them has your picture memorized.

They do not seem to be interested in actually killing people, but prefer to engage in a proactive disabling of potential conquests. The present mode seems to be primarily oriented towards driving mainstream people insane, or worse, attempting to use psychological warfare and psychochemical pavlovian conditioning techniques to induce servility or incompetance.

Note: they are extremely hostile to anyone wearing military colors, or military-cut clothing, even in shabby condition. It is almost impossible to find anyone anywhere in the Greater Washington DC Metro area wearing military-cut or military-colored gear outside of a secured military facility, and I have seen military personnel being stalked by these "elves" at various suburban locations all over the area. (Note as of 13 September 1998, this appears to be less the case now as camoflage has become a fashion trend.)

Goths or people who associate with Goths should be extremely careful around these individuals, and under all circumstances avoid any observed enclaves of these beings. Given their obsession with "dracula" and "vampire-I", and considering their techniques and inhumanly great speed, it might be reasonably presumed that they are possibly some sort of aliens, or have been raised by, modified by, or are controlled by aliens or by hostile foreign powers. Or maybe they're just really elves. This obsession with "dracula" and "vampire-I" leads me to presume that they believe that there is a hidden defensive resource that could overcome them as easily and skillfully as they can overcome mainstream Men, a defensive resource which is as well organized and prepared as they are, and they're just jumping the gun in their paranoia and trying to eliminate everyone not of their kind rather than take a risk of having one of the dreaded "vampire-I" infiltrate one of their enclaves. Goths and their associates should maintain extremely tight and redundant personal contacts. Be sure to let people know where you are going and when you're coming back; spontaneity could get you in big trouble around here these days, just for walking into the wrong store.

Of maybe they just hate Goths and this is how they're trying to drive them insane... if this last is the true correct interpretation, they've done a great job on me. But to be safe, play it as if they do seem to be trying to pull off some sort of slow-encroachment sort of invasion and hating Goths and calling them "dracula" is just incidental, and military, police and intelligence personnel should take extreme-caution and spoofed-information measures when dealing with them in any manner whatsoever.

MPs who go gothic in their furlough periods should consider all of the above with great diligence.

[ this blatant piece of lame SF and prediction of next-seasons' _Dark Skies_ (when they get to modern times) should be disregarded as a complete troll and utter fabrication - unless of course you see any of this actually happening in which case report it promptly to the proper authorities... unless of course said authorities have small pointed ears on oddly boxy heads and keep muttering and gesticulating for no apparent reason while one or more of them begins to make their best efforts to get behind you.... ]