Last updated 18 October 1998

Places To Not Shop - Suburban Maryland
Suburban Maryland is Now The Center of An Invasion Operation!

7-11s Are Spy Central!

Don't shop here!

Or if you fell like a bear for punishment, go ahead. Shop at these places. Most of this page dates from mid-to-late 1995. Things were much worse at that time. They're not much better now.

Beware! The author of these pages is quite mad. Madder than hell. And if anything you are about to read seems a little, well, unbelieveable, just remember that this is, after all, the Washington DC Metropolitan area, and if you think for a moment that espionage, counter-espionage, and all sorts of interesting variations on that theme might not be pretty pervasive, you might as well stay out in the boondocks. The author also wishes to advise you that anything you think you see if you're here, no matter how unbelievable, is probably just what you saw. And if someone comes running up to you to tell you that you didn't see something you hadn't yet convinced yourself you really saw, there's your proof. When we DC folks are being mean to tourists, sometimes we catch them goggling at something too weird to be believed, and we whisper as we pass: "You really saw that."

As near as I can tell, there are very quiet wars being fought in various suburbs, as assorted subcultures belly up to the Capital and jockey for the honor of being the ones to deliver the first cut of the Old Nation's coup-de-grace.

I have to add that (probably for having had the audacity to write and maintain these pages) I am very commonly subject to abuses or assaults, generally done with techniques designed to be " unbelievable". As of now, I escalate. Please see, as they occur, the Page of Suburban Shame. I freely admit it, I am locally considered a complete asshole, because I have decided to risk madness, mayhem and probably inevitable death, rather than be run out of my hometown by a bunch of goddamned backstabbers, most of whom are imported from other countries, or quite likely criminals who "think they bad" as the local thieves' argot would have it. I will give any place a try or three, and then if they still don't want my business, that's too bad. I hate to have to remind anyone that there's quite a few laws against customer discrimination.

Do not shop at

7-11 in the 14000 block of Georgia Avenue in Aspen Hill, Maryland. In fact, if you can stand any of the people in any of the stores in Aspen Hill, or for that matter in the shopping center at Bauer Drive and Maryland Route 28 (Norbeck Road), you're either demonically possessed or quite used to space aliens and the sort of ghoulish infiltrators that give spies such a bad name. It makes matters no better that they simply can't keep an American employed there for more than about three hours, and nobody there speaks much English. It's even worse considering that they are stationed right across the street from Vitro Labs, which does weapons systems for the Navy. I often entertain the idea that they are occupying the 7-11 simply on the off-chance that some highly-cleared person will walk in and be instantly subjected to some really interesting experiences in very high-tech espionage. The next-to-last time I was there, I was cursed in Arabic or maybe Urdu, something sharp stuck me in the back of the neck, and I was subject to this really weird strobing effect, not unlike what you get when you've been hit in the head with a baseball bat. When strobing back into reality, this Arabic or maybe Pakistani-looking fellow kept appearing in a different position, generally doing something on my face with a curved needle and surgical thread. While walking home afterwards, I kept having really odd flashes of light. It was very similar to a friend's description of getting a cut stitched on Ketamine.

Southland Corporation should divest itself of the place. At any rate, I damned sure don't shop there when I can avoid it.

But things aren't much better today, 13 September 1998. There seems to be a local cult that believes that anglos are vampires. Or maybe that's just their excuse. I note that today at the CVS Pharmacy in Aspen Hill, MD, within seconds of entering the store, someone said "who's that?!" in a very excited tone of voice. I noted that someone was pointing at me. As I moved towards the back of the store, someone else said, "don't worry about him, he's not dracula, that's a man". I shudder to conjecture that these people either haven't seen a Man before (I've lived here for 30 years, while my neighborhood has apparently turned into an assembly zone for the local Immigrant Insurgency) where the hell do these people come from, or how insane are they, if they think that anyone who's not whatever-they-are isn't by-default a Man? Trying to figure out what the heck these poeple are, much less how insane or uninformed they might be, is enough to twist my mind into nasty little knots of insanity. I can only presume that they're some sort of imported meta-humans. Lord knows that some of the more typical of their various kinds is something I call "Psychotic Elves From Hell". Hell, as weird as some of these people are, I'm willing to think of them as Kro-Mags from the TV SF show "Sliders". Actually, that's just about the only interpretation I've encountered that makes any goddamned sense of these weird-ass bastards.

13 October 1998
Recent observations at the 7-11 at 14101 Georgia Avenue, Aspen Hill MD indicate a pattern of entrenchment of a foreign militarist presence.

Foreign nationals employed by this 7-11 engage in clear patterns of mayhem against patriotic Americans. We have witnessed numerous provovocations against ourselves. Much more worrisome, we have seen a great deal of evidence indicating militaristic organization, up to and including very strong evidence of a local patrol being radio-dispatched from this 7-11, which said radio-dispatch can almost instantly get a response from locally-emplace gangsters. To wit, as of this date, we walked into the store, were promptly abused by a cooperative of three english-nonspeaking foreign nationals, one of their ringleaders, an old North Korean spy, and when we walked out, we saw one employee turn to work a CB radio, which resulted in the arrival within moments of an armd foreign national, clearly grasping a weapon within their outerwear, and also this armed foreign national was clearly advised of our identity and the identity of our vehicle; they oriented on us immediately. There is no doubt that foreign nationals operating from within this 7-11 are the hub of a militaristic network, armed against and hostile to local Americans.

We have been observing this for the last month or more, with an escalating pattern of immediate call-outs of their armed foreign-national "security". Clearly, the 7-11 in Aspen Hill is probably a conduit for the methedrine trade now making inroads into suburban Maryland and is certianly highly-aligned with foreign-national gangsters. Take care, they are armed with a very high level of unconventional weaponry as well as conventional weaponry, and are almost certainly prepared to put up a false front to any police or other investigative organizations. It should be presumed that this is an espionage and insurgency command-and-control outpost not only engaged in provocation and mayhem of loyalist local citizens, but also actively engaged in identification and compromise of local law-enforcement.

Hmm, it's Friday, January 17th, 1997. And I just got the exact same treatment described above, at the Rodman's Beer Store located at 4301 Viers Mill Road, intersection of Veirs Mill and Randolph Roads. This is a very spooky place. The whole little shopping center across from the Korean Korner has an ancient and seedy history, as such histories go. Right now it's an almost entirely-ethnic enclave, and it was so weird. Walked in there, and some guy comes walking in behind me with a cross in his hand, held high over his head. No big deal, but I start counting my change, and some weird ol black gal comes in, and slips a needle into the back of my thigh. Next thing I know, I am counting change to this big-headed arabic-looking guy behind the counter, in between those telltale flashes of light strobing in and out it seems he's sewing on my head again. Different guy, same technique. I guess Hamas or someone is now training their terrorists on how to anesthetize and braindamage Americans for having the temerity to shop in their own (occupied) neighborhoods. A note - for those familiar with the White Wolf Role-Playing Game of called "Vampires: The Masquerade (tm), this experience was remarkably similar to being "fleshcrafted". At any rate, I didn't come out of that store looking the same as I did when I went into that store. I guess this might be one more way that people become The Changed.

Safeway in the Bauer Drive Shopping Center is one of the wierder places in town to shop. They have me as a captive customer, as I do not own a motor vehicle, and they are the only grocery store accessible by bus.

There's also the Safeway in Wheaton, Maryland. Occasionally more Satanic than the Bauer Center Safeway, occasionally less so, still, this store is filled with haughty foreigners and submissive suburban victims of the recent over-running of Montgomery County. If you're easily amused, try heading into Wheaton Triangle, where there are some decent stores and some really weird places. If you're easily amused, and feeling brave, start staring at people's ears and see what happens to you. Then go home and try to figure out why. Also beware that there is a bit of anecdotal evidence that there's something very strange going on in purported underground tunnels attached to the Wheaton Metro subway station, home of the longest escalator in the Western World.

Under no circumstances shop at any suburban CVS store. Some of the ones downtown are okay. CVS is an out-of-town company that bought up the venerable local chain of People's Drug. For some reason the management has decided to staff the place only with such (shudder) individuals who could scare a mirror into glass dust. If your stomach turns easily, don't go into a suburban CVS or you might discover your guts wound up like a rubber band on a cheap wooden model airplane. I would hesitate to set foot in a suburban CVS unless they were the last place on earth to buy aspirin during an epidemic of Plague.

McDonalds
McDonalds nationwide has usually been a pretty good bet for a quick meal. And who the hell ever got hurt at a McDonalds other than by a freak accident? This is not the case in quite a few of the suburban Washington Metro McDonalds. They seem to hire exclusively foreigners, and after watching them for years (the McDonalds I mean) I note that the clientele, which nationwide tends to be a cross-section of mom-n-pop America, locally tends to be inhabited only by very shaken-looking and rapidly-retreating normals, and an increasing and increasingly psychotic cross-section of local scumdogs and obvious foreigners trying to absorb local color.

Ever been to church and seen someone "gettin' happy"? I mean the sort of people who all of a sudden get up and fall down on the ground and start rolling around in the aisles? Well to each their own when it comes to religion. But when you see that same effect suddenly converted to instant mob violence, or more properly mobs pretending to not notice that one of them is beating the crap out of someone for standing in line, well, it's pretty scary. McDonald's in the Washington Metro area seems to be very prone to that sort of thing. Maybe all of those food-additives have some sort of odd effect on the sort of people who eat at McDonalds all day, every day. Lord knows I've seen some weird things there.

You are formally advised to avoid, at all circumstances, the McDonalds at Georgia Avenue and Randolph Road in Glenmont MD, the McDonalds at Georgia Avenue and University Boulevard in Wheaton, MD, and if you really want to see an absolute freakshow of an alien and imbecile meeting place, go to the McDonalds at Mercado Shopping Center, Layhill Road and Georgia Avenue.

Note as of 13 September 1998 - McDonalds has evidently pretty-much gotten their act together. At least it's possible to get through the drive-in maybe one time out of three and not have a six-inch piece of stiff optical fiber jammed into your neck.

Hell, just avoid McDonalds altogether if you're in town. There's much better places to eat anyway.

Places to Safely Shop

Haven't found any. Wouldn't tell you if I did, why should I advertise to the infiltrators that there's a place that they missed taking over? Let's just say that if you're here outside of tourist season, you're gonna have problems. Don't bother writing your congressman, they're not going to help you. Just get your passport in order and stop paying taxes.


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